'I think the most important thing you can do, is get a bit of exercise! Yeah?'
'Oooooh, I love a bit of cake. Oooooh, cake. Oooooh, cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. I'm just one of these people. I come home and I need a piece of cake.'
'Now, say a cake has 100 calories. If you cut it in half you will only have 50 calories. And because it's half the calories you can eat twice as much!'
'I do six step aerobics every month, and that's why I'm so thin.'
'Anyway don't listen to her coz everyone knows her fanny goes sideways.'
'What did you do that for, you total virgin!'
'Now crisps are high in fat, but they're also low in protein and low in fibre! See, it's not all bad!'